April Fool's...for Cyclists

April Fool's Day is right around the corner: Sunday, April 1.

So, as mentioned previously, this is a very special edition of the Kalamazoo Cyclist. I have searched the vast offerings of the inter-web and will now attempt to re-blogulate the best, worst, and forbidden (in my opinion) April Fool's...for cyclists.

The ground rules are as follows: faking death is strictly prohibited. This should really apply to April Fool's in general. However, if you are a cyclist, you understand how much your friends and family worry about your lifestyle, and the very real fact that you could someday be run down by a texting adolescent in a two-ton metal box. Don't do it...everything else is on the table.

For the special someone in your life

Let's face it - cycling can be an expensive sport. All the gas, car insurance, and other monies you are "saving," are all likely being spent on bikes and gear. Also, despite your best efforts to hide it, your spouse also likely knows that you are always searching Craigslist and other websites for your next bike.

So here's what you do.

Borrow the nicest bike that you can from a friend. Place it near or around your current fleet of bikes (assuming you store your bikes in a visible location, such as the living room). Odds are, the new addition to your fleet will be noticed immediately.

You will the casually say something like, "Oh yeah, I picked that up at the bike shop this week. You know, I really needed more of a performance road bike as opposed to my other road bikes."

This will likely elicit one of three responses, if my calculation are correct:
1. Your spouse has read my blog (not likely), or is otherwise aware that it is April Fool's Day. She tells you to return the bike to your friend.
2. Anger. This would then be a good time to lighten the mood by exclaiming, "April Fool's!!"
3. A condescending, but understanding and ultimately approving of the purchase, such as "Another bike?? How much did you spend on this one?" (obviously this is a rhetorical question) or "That looks like a nice bike, next time please just talk to me before making any big purchases."

In the case of scenario 3, consider yourself lucky. Say nothing about April Fool's. Return your friends bike on the way to the local bike shop. You have just been authorized to purchase a new bike.

For the special cyclist in your life

Now that you have a new bike, it's time to ride. If you are riding with someone you like, this may be better to try pre-ride or post-ride. If you are rather indifferent to your riding partners, mid-ride is ok.

When your riding buddy is not looking, quickly let the air out of the rear tire. This person will then immediately snap into flat fix mode. They will be somewhat perplexed as they unsuccessfully search the tire and tube for signs of debris. They will conclude that they must've gotten a pinch flat. The tube will be changed and you will be back on the road in minutes.

As an added bonus, offer to hold on to the tube for your friend. "I can throw that away for you." Or, "I have a patch kit so I'll hold on to it just in case."

If they comply, you have yourself a perfectly good tube, hopefully to go along with your brand new bike.

This has potential to be a great day.

One other solid idea is to replace the water in their bottles with beer, soda, red bull, etc. You be the judge:

(photo used without permission)

Finally, there are a lot of mediocre to bad April Fool's ideas out there for cyclists, including filling tires with water or placing objects in or on the seat tube or handlebars. These pranks may be well and fine, but in general seem to require more effort with no benefit to the prankster. If it were me, I would stick with the ideas above.

Happy April Fool's!

-Clay

First Group Ride of 2018

I'm just dropping in to give you a quick update on the first group ride of this year. More importantly, I also think you should stay tuned for a special edition of the Kalamazoo Cyclist: April Fool's Day for Cyclists. I'll try to have it posted tomorrow, and within will be a summary of my favorite April Fool's Day ideas...for cyclists...I guess the title is fairly straightforward.

So, back to the ride:

The weather was slightly above 50 degrees, with the wind out of the southeast, or mostly south.

The first 7 miles were basically straight east from work to the meeting place, so far so good.

Then there was a group of six of us that went on the "Lawton ride" also known as the fast group...or something like that.

We started out with the wind and pedaling at an easy pace. So I'm about 20 miles in to the ride and my legs, lungs, and brain are all feeling pretty good.

That is when I made my first mistake.

As we started heading south (into the wind) I took over for a few turns "pulling" the group. By the time we turned back east, still into the wind, I was definitely starting to wear down. For those of you new to cycling, it's important to remember: In a group ride, NEVER take the lead position, ALWAYS stay in the middle-back drafting from the other riders.

Finally, I made my way to the middle-back and settled in.

Now here is my second mistake.

Water. During the decision making process prior to the ride, I determined that it was a one bottle day. However, when the weather is cool and you are feeling good, you don't realize that you are thirsty. Even if you have been pedaling in circles for over an hour.

By the time we made the turn north, there was probably only 10-12 ounces of water missing from my bottle. I'm pretty sure that's what the nutritionists recommend, right?

Now, if you remember, this is also the final stretch and the wind is at our backs. So the group is taking off and averaging about 25-26 mph. At least that's what I think they were averaging.

I hung on the back for about half of the 6 mile home stretch and then slowly backed off to 23 mph or so to finish out. My first excuse is that my hamstring tightened up, likely due to a lack of water. However, it is quite likely that my lungs would have given out either way.

I count it a success that I hung on enough to finish in sight of the rest of the group. Some people have told me they've been completely dropped...out of sight...and that, of course, has never happened to me.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be back for more punishment next week.

-Clay

Proud Dad Moment

Just in case you don't know me, which shouldn't be anybody that is reading this, I currently have two (2) children. My daughter is about 42 months old (yes, that is 3 1/2 years) and my son is about 16 months old (approximately 1 1/2 years).

Now I like to think that my kids have a fairly normal, or average, life except for the following: I am their father, I ride my bike to work most days, and we are a family of four with one car. At least their mother is normal...

Sometimes I wonder what my kids will think when they are old enough to comprehend that their father riding his bike to work or having one car to share is not completely normal. Will they think it's cool? When will they realize I'm weird? Will they revolt against this lifestyle and buy (or even worse - lease) their own car as soon as they turn 16?

With that said, I took the kids out on Sunday afternoon for a bike ride / walk. My daughter was on her Strider bike (which is just a balance bike, pictured below) and my son and I were walking behind her.

Also, please note: despite my distinguished career as a non-professional cyclist, I do not plan to force my kids into riding their bikes thousands of miles each year, completing ultra-endurance events, cross country bike trips, or anything of the like. I will teach my kids how to ride a bike, but the rest is really up to them.

Back to our Sunday afternoon walk. As we were approaching the neighbors house, my daughter loudly exclaimed, "HAHAHA...they have two cars in their driveway...HAHAHA...that's funny!!"

I couldn't have been more proud of her than I was at that moment.

p.s. tonight I will undertake the first group ride of 2018. I fully expect to be sucking air at the back of the pack. However it goes, I will be back with those updates and more, including: April Fool's Day for cyclists. 

- Clay

 

Ten thousand miles: a memoir

Happy Friday!

According to the official Strava records (if it's not on Strava, it didn't happen, right?), I passed 10,000 miles all-time this week. Now, I realize that there are many people that accomplish this feat every year. But I still thought this was a pretty cool milestone.

If you are anything like me, you are probably wondering how much time that took. Thankfully, Strava was there to help again. Here is the breakdown:

611 hours. Sometimes I've wondered if I spend too much time on the bike(s) (as if that is possible). But over the course of 7 years (and yes, I'm counting all 7), that is really just over 25 full days spent riding. And that's really not bad at all. In fact, most reasonable people would argue that I should spend more time on the bike(s).

Well, at least I would make that argument...

To further my argument, a majority of my riding is commuting. It currently takes me about 30-35 minutes to get to work via bike, and about 20 minutes via car. So I'm mostly just replacing my un-enjoyable commute via car with an enjoyable, healthy commute via bike.

Anyway, back to the main point - I was expecting a grand ride home from work to celebrate my milestone. But of course that just turned into a normal 8.5 mile slog into a 15-20mph headwind. On a more positive note though, it gave me plenty of time to reflect on the past 10,000 miles, and come up with the following limerick. I hope you enjoy. (Also, I have no idea if this actually qualifies as a limerick, and I don't really care either)

When I first bought my bike, I was pretty fat,
I didn't even know how to fix a flat.

After a while we gathered some friends,

we rode the Kal-Haven until it ends.

Two cars turned to one as I rode to work,
and found out those motorists can be quite the jerks.

Through sun, rain, wind, and tornadoes I went,
though it soon became clear more money would be spent.

The miles added up, and so did the states,

from Lansing to Mackinaw the ride was first rate.

Covered bridges get stoned is Maryland's best title,

and for a cyclist the riding in Marin County is vital.

The mountains in Tennessee are known for their smoke,

the black bear was close but my phone fell and broke.

In Wisconsin we rode across farmland and streams,

but Iowa countered with the Field of Dreams.

The Sawtooth peaks are beautifully rigid,

but the waters of the Salmon were downright frigid.

Staying in the Pacific Northwest I might add,
the climbing at Sunrise was not at all bad.

In Oregon McKenzie Pass had quite a burn,
to the Cascades I went and my derailleur took a turn.

The riding in Utah was supposed to be grand,

but the road turned to sand,

and that's not what was planned. 

The Sunshine state provided a solace,

even if it involved a run in with the police.

In Amsterdam the riding was out of this country,

even as things back home got trumpy.

Now, I'm sure there is more,

but I don't want to bore,

with all the details Indiana has in store.

So with that I'll conclude,

but without being rude,

it's only because of my bride this is possible,

and I think the best word to describe her is phenomenal.

-C

Friends of Cycling

If you are in Kalamazoo, you may be aware that there is a boil water advisory in certain areas right now. Although it's really more of a "go to the store to buy as many gallons of water as possible" advisory.

Nevertheless, I was completely unaware of this advisory at the time I filled up my water bottle for a short ride yesterday. As of now, I am happy to report no ill effects and that I am completely normal.

Or at least as normal as I was before I drank the water.

However, until one of our friends told us about this, we were completely unaware. In fact, the link above was not even for our area. The advisory for our area was posted on the Facebook...which both my wife and I have utterly and completely abandoned.

Why am I telling you all of this?

I'm glad you asked.

In an effort to be more informed and possibly save my family from life threatening mutations, I was browsing the news on mlive last night when I came across the following headline:

Cyclist hospitalized after being struck in downtown Ann Arbor

A cyclist was hospitalized after being struck by a car in downtown Ann Arbor early Sunday. 

Police were dispatched about 1:20 a.m. March 18, for a report of an injured cyclist at the corner of Huron Street and Fifth Avenue, Ann Arbor Police Sgt. Mark Pulford said. 

The victim, a man in his 20s, was transported to the University of Michigan Hospital, Pulford said. 

His condition is currently unknown.

Further details were not immediately available.    

There aren't too many details at this point. And it's usually best not to make early assumptions, especially given the fact(s) that this occurred around 1 am after St. Patrick's Day, and shortly following UofM's NCAA victory.

What's most important, is that we hope everyone involved is ok - and it is always encouraging to see the public outcry of support for the cyclist and for safer streets:

If there are too many accidents with vehicles, then maybe...just maybe...it's the vehicles we don't need. And heaven forbid we bring the kids...

Did you see these parents carelessly endangering their children?!? Just in case you missed it, here is a closer look:

Bohica_2 is right, let's not think about it...I don't even want to think about what kind of an impact that would have on our children.

See what makes dutch children the happiest in the world

Not to mention the fact that not a single adult, or child, was wearing a helmet.

Sometimes, it's better just to leave things the way they are.

And finally, I'll leave you with one last comment for the day:

We can only hope, Barry Dingle, we can only hope. Stay safe out there.

Clay

Mechanical Fortitude - part 2

In Mechanical Fortitude - part 1, I described my abilities as a bike mechanic by replacing a tire.

Surely by now you are impressed with my abilities to fix bikes.

But after replacing the tire, my mechanical ineptitude was displayed as I put my bike on the rack of my car, and then proceeded to drive it down to the bike shop for it's annual service.

I've been having some issues shifting and not hitting a couple gears. Despite my best attempts to adjust the cable and high / low limits, I couldn't figure out what the issue was. Apparently, as the real bike mechanic informed me, the derailleur cable was broken / frayed. As the cable routing on my road bike is internal, I do at least feel somewhat justified in having this repair done at the shop.

Would I prefer to work on my own bike?

Would I prefer to quit my current job for a life of riding and fixing bikes?

Would I prefer to fix my bike over finishing work on the upstairs bathroom, or insulating the fan vent duct in the attic, or fixing the garage door, etc?

Would you prefer it if I didn't ask so many questions?

Most of the time I think the answer is yes to all of the above. But sometimes the professional bike mechanics just do it better than I would. And maybe I wouldn't ride as much if I didn't have anywhere to go. And if I didn't have other house projects to do, or a family to care for, I would probably spend an unhealthy amount of time married to my bike(s).

And now, with all that said, my bike is ready to be picked up, and I expect to update you in the coming days with details of unrivaled speed and precision shifting.

But I know what you are asking yourself now, what were you doing while all this was going on?

Well, I did find a few hours last weekend to work on my commuting rig. My commuter is a Trek 7.2 fx with a rack and fenders. This has been my daily commuter now for the past 4-5 years. I'm sure at some point I'll post some pictures, but right now I've got nothing.

Prior to last weekend, here was the status / condition of my bike: the rear brakes were worn and out of commission (but who needs brakes, right?). This also didn't matter because the rear wheel was out of true, so I basically had disconnected the rear brakes. Shifting was slow. And the front brakes made an awful squeaking / squealing noise.

So here is what happened:

Step 1 - I acquired one of these handy tools for $9 at my local bike shop and got to work truing my rear wheel:

Note: As a guide, my wife bought me this book a while back and this has been a helpful encyclopedia for all things cycling:

Now, back to Step 1. Early in the process I discovered two (2) broken spokes. Without having any replacement spokes, I decided to go without. If anyone actually read this blog, I'm sure they would inform me that this is a terrible idea; however, I continued on with reckless disregard for the now missing spokes. It took me a while, but this was actually pretty interesting, and after 15-30 minutes I had a rear wheel that rolled mostly true. Given the added challenge of truing a wheel with two (2) broken spokes, I thought it was impressive.

Step 2 - now that the wheel is trued, was to reconnect and tighten the rear brakes. Again, the proper fix would be to replace the brake pads, but I could still see the wear line on the pads, so I left them and simply adjusted the brake cable adjuster and voila, the rear wheel AND brakes were back in working condition.

Step 3 - was to tighten up the derailleur cable. And while it's not perfect, I didn't prove to be totally inept, and the shifting is much better. 

So I am now pleased to report that my commuter can move forward, shift, and stop. Pretty cool. 

Finally, I feel compelled to share, or admit to, the items I left undone as of right now. The front brake noise did not get investigated. Here are my top two excuses: 1) I rarely use the front brakes, especially now that the rear brakes are in working order and 2) it can be a useful "bell" or "horn" in case of emergency. 

Further, I seriously contemplated washing my bike. As bad as I am about cleaning my road bike every so often, I am even worse about cleaning my commuter. It has probably been cleaned about 2 times...and I'm not just talking about this past year. In fact, I don't think I cleaned this bike at all last year. It tends to get neglected. So again, I spent an hour or two out tinkering with the bike and then failed to wash the frame or clean the drivetrain...

Maybe next time...

Clay

How to ride your bike on vacation

Happy Friday,

As you might know by now if you have read my previous posts, we took a family vacation down to Florida at the end of February. Anyway, here is what Eben Weiss, aka Bike Snob NYC, has to say about traveling with your bike, at least if you are married to / dating a non-cyclist (which by the way, if you are somehow here reading my ramblings, you should definitely go check out his blog):

If all goes well, eventually you’re going to want to take a trip together. For any cyclist, the prospect of a few days away from the bike is a daunting one. Therefore, at some point during the planning, you’re going to float the idea of taking your bike along with you.

Don’t do it.

You know what feels great? That moment when you both arrive all road-weary at your destination, drop your bags, and collapse onto the bed. You know what ruins that moment? When you get right up again, unpack your bike, and start whining about how the TSA crammed your wheels back in the case and now they’re half a millimeter out of true.

Even worse is to plan the trip with a secret cycling agenda. If your non-cycling partner is looking for an early spring getaway to shake off that seasonal affective disorder, don’t push for the chilly, rain-soaked charms of Flanders because you think you may be able to watch a Classic. Sure, the romance of the cobbles is undeniable, but it’s not that kind of romance, and sometimes you’ve got to suck it up and spend a few days lying on the beach.

Of course, being the kind, caring, loving husband and father that I am, I made the difficult decision to take my bike to Florida. As punishment, I would be subjected to a day at Disney. I figured it was a fair trade.

We drove down to Florida, and spent 5 days in Clearwater and another couple days in Orlando. This is also where I spent my formative years. For four years, I went to college here:

And now I live here:

But anyway, my college years were prior to my interest in cycling, other than ambling around campus in my Mongoose mountain bike. In fact, at the time, I assumed every person riding a bike should be subjected to the sidewalk. But the years have since passed, and now I was returning and starting to plan a couple road rides during the trip.

After a brief search, I found the following bike map of the Clearwater area:

I know it's probably hard to read, so let me summarize - basically, there is a bike trail, community trail or bike lane on or near every road. While trying to get over the feeling that I had completely wasted my college life as a non-cyclist, I chose a couple routes, loaded them up in Strava, and off I went. Here are my routes / rides:

There is a 10 mile trail, which connects to other trails in the area, across the Courtney Campbell Causeway. The beginning of the trail is directly across the street from where I went to college. I definitely enjoyed the riding down there, and it is perfectly flat for some early season riding. Although my legs were still in pre-season form and I started feeling tired around 30-35 miles each time.

And here are some brief highlights of my rides:
 - Twice I felt like cars passed too closely, both cars had Michigan plates
 - Once I was pulled over and issued a warning for failing to stop at a crosswalk. While it was completely my fault, here is my explanation, in picture form (the pedestrian is the stick figure, I am the green arrow):

 - Finally, I am an still an idiot for not riding during college

And not all of my riding was for selfish purposes. We also hauled my wife's bike and the bike trailer down and got out on the trails:

Overall, everyone appears pleased. And I can even admit that I slightly enjoyed Disney as well. With that said, I hope you enjoy the weekend, and it looks like we might even have some sunshine and warmer weather coming our way next week!

Clay

Mechanical Fortitude - part 1

Hello again,

Having returned from the sun drenched sands of Florida, as I mentioned in my previous post, I figured it's about time to start recording what has been happening.

At this point in my life, I ride outside as long as there is no snow on the ground. I also hate "riding indoors," although I've never actually tried it before this year, I just hate the idea of it. But, having contemplated trainers and rollers, I added a set of rollers to my Amazon list prior to Christmas:

Surprisingly, my Mom actually purchased this for me and so here I was, safely positioned in a doorway of a dark basement trying not to fall over. And no, I was not wearing a helmet.

If you are trying to decide between rollers and a trainer, here are six questions to ask yourself. I didn't ask myself any of these questions, except that this seemed like the most affordable way to ride my bike inside. Given the sometimes bipolar Michigan weather, I also liked the idea of being able to ride my bike inside or outside, as is, without changing tires (tyres) or wheels. Per this article from Cycling Tips, "trainers are hard on the rear tyre so it will wear out very quickly." 

Apparently, my rollers are also hard on Continental Gatorskins, because this is what my rear tire, or tyre, looked like after a few 30 minute sessions:

On a side note, if you can ride more than 30 minutes at time inside, you are mentally stronger than I am. Anyway, I'm not sure what exactly caused this particular issue, but the time came to change out the tire so I could ride in Florida, and the weather is somewhat clearing in Michigan now as well. My local bike shop recommends the Specialized Roubaix Pro tires. I haven't had any issues with these tires in the past (that's what I currently have on the front after slicing my front tire on a glass bottle last year), so that is what I went with, despite what Kent from Plano, TX had to say:

"I have gone through two sets of these tires and have had flats." Welcome to cycling. "Everytime it was because of something picked up in the road." As opposed to something picked up in the...air? "After one flat I bought another set of these tires..." Seems a little hasty. "...only to have another flat a few weeks later." Again, welcome to the world of cycling. Now, I could blame my Gatorskins for the fact that I wasn't completely paying attention and hit that broken glass bottle. But flats happen, and it's not always the tires fault. 

So I got the new tire on relatively quickly, given my general lack of mechanical abilities, and so far so good. I did some riding in Florida and a couple commutes since my return to the frigid north country. But more on that to come. For now, I'll just say, I have had no flats. Call it the tires, good fortune, or whatever you like...

Finally, speaking of tires, if you are in the Kalamazoo / Grand Rapids area there is a hot deal right now on a few tire pumps on Craigslist. I'm almost positive these would work for Schrader and Presta valves. 

Your welcome,

Clay