Welcome to NY: Where Dreams are Made Of

Hello there.

For most of us, New York is kind of a bucket list item. Seeing the Statue of Liberty, the Freedom Tower, Times Square, Central Park, and the list could go on and on. As a cyclist, or even as a non-cyclist, riding the approximately 6 mile long loop around Central Park on a Citi Bike is definitely on the bucket list.

Now, the past week for me was spent in Mahwah, NJ for work meetings, and Mahwah is about an hour outside of New York City. And given the fact that I am widely considered the world’s worst bike blogger, and that I receive absolutely no compensation for said blogulations, I decided to shirk my actual work responsibilities for which I do receive compensation in favor of that bucket list ride in Central Park. I figure I owe it to my readers (hi, babe!).

The Ride

Without wasting any more words, let me tell you about the ride.

The taxi dropped me near Times Square and Central Park. During the trip to the city, I downloaded the Citi Bike app from the iTunes store, for free. The app installed in less than a minute. I selected the $12 daily pass option. Then off I went. I must say, the entire Citi Bike system worked flawlessly.

I was soon emerged into a sea of hundreds, or thousands, of New Yorkers blissfully smiling and riding through Central Park. Much to my surprise, Citi Bike was very widely used, and not just by tourists. There were many other users, most of whom appeared to be out for a leisurely ride or on their way home from work. It was Friday afternoon on a perfect May day, with the sun peeking out from behind a few sparse clouds and a gentle breeze blowing through the air.

Instead of getting caught up by the stress of being in the city, confined to streets barricaded by skyscrapers and filled with angry motorists honking violently at one another, I was transferred into tranquility. Here in the middle of Manhattan, I was surrounded by fellow cyclists, pedestrians, and joggers in a setting of beautiful blooming flowers, trees, and lush green vegetation.

The terrain was gentle and rolling, and I was swept away in the moment – giddy with excitement and with a constant smile like that of a child. If you prefer, we can call it my “bike face.”

Before I knew it, I had covered the full 6 miles. Despite my desire for more, I had a plane to catch. So I said a brief goodbye and re-docked my Citi Bike as I was grimly and abruptly welcomed back to reality.

As much as I enjoy long rides with thousands of feet of elevation, I must say this was a first class ride, worthy of any bucket list.

The Reality

At least that is how I pictured my day happening.

The above story is really just a novel work of fiction. Here’s what really happened:

Our team meetings wrapped up around 2pm as planned. So I didn’t actually skip any work because I’m not really that cool. My flight wasn’t leaving from Newark / EWR until 9:30pm. That gave me about a 7 hour window to get to the city, ride a quick loop, then go to the airport.

So I hopped in a taxi with a few other co-workers to go down to Times Square / Central Park. As one of my co-workers had a hotel in this area for the night, we could drop our bags at the hotel and go from there.

We departed by 2:15 or 2:30pm. The taxi was slightly warm at the time of our entrance, so we requested some A/C. And that is right about when the traffic hit. 1 hour passed, then 1.5 hours, then close to 2 hours later we arrived in the city at our destination. By this time, my fingers were completely numb due to the frigid AC temperatures, and my bladder was on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

Nevertheless, we made it to the hotel with dry pants, and dropped our bags. Just in case you are wondering, $250/night in New York City gets you a bed, and that's basically it. I'd estimate the hotel costs start right around $1 per square foot.

Unfortunately, one of our other co-workers was continuing on the taxi journey to JFK airport, for which the driver quoted a time of approximately 25 minutes, but no more than 2 hours…we’re still not sure how the rest of that journey went.

By now, we had enough time to get coffee (ok…Carmel Macchiato) at Starbucks, then a quick drink and dinner prior to picking up our bags and heading to the airport. To be exact(ly), I had a Carmel Macchiato, a wheat beer, and buffalo wings…if that sounds like an odd combination, it is. But more on my bad judgement later.

We wrapped up dinner and headed back to the hotel to pick up our bags. Then it was back out to the concrete jungle to revel in the experience of hailing a cab in New York City.

No bike ride. No Central Park. Not this time.

As I left the hotel, I asked the front desk if they could call a cab for me to Newark airport. They said their rates were about $95 for a cab, but that I could just use Uber, right? 

Of course I nodded along, smugly, giving off sort of a chuckle before heading out to the streets. But they did not realize they were speaking to a 68 year old, stuck in a 31 year old's body. And despite my many adventures and travels, I have thus far in my life refused to participate in the Uber business. 

So I hit the streets. I assumed Friday at rush hour wouldn't be the easiest time to catch a cab, but there seemed to be plenty of them buzzing around the streets. So there I stood, hailing away unsuccessfully for at least 15 minutes. To me, this experience was about as comfortable as most people find sitting on a bike seat for the first time.

So I gave up. Not only did I give up, I completely abandoned my value system. So there I was, one out of millions of people in New York City, standing next to my baggage in the bus lane, searching for Uber on the app store. 

Then, out of nowhere, a cab pulls up next to me and asks me where I am going. So there you have it - the best way to hail a cab in New York City is to basically stand in the road with your bags, while staring mindlessly at your phone. 

I told the cabbie I was headed to Newark. He told me to jump in and quoted me a cool $130. At this point, I was in no position to bargain. And I just rode along assuming this was an absolute rip off. Like I said, not my best day in the wise judgement department. But I was finally on my way home. Despite missing out on my bike ride, I was glad to finally be heading out of the city and to the airport. 

So there you have it: I paid $315 for round-trip airfare from Grand Rapids, MI to Newark, NJ. And I just spent the same amount of money getting into New York City and out of New York City to the airport. But if you think about it, the cab rides basically took up the same amount of time, and I must admit it was much more comfortable being sprawled out in the back of a Lincoln by myself than jammed into a sardine can with a sweaty middle-aged man, who I can only hope is not looking over my shoulder as I recap my day. Plus, I didn't have to put away my large electronics or put my phone in airplane mode for the ride. 

At least I managed to take a nice selfie while I was in the city:

 - Clay